Nikki Eernisse grew up with parents who could not take good care of her.Nikki’s mother Karin suffers from Borderline personality disorder and herfather does not play a major role in her life. Documentary maker Monique Noltefollowed the family for 6 years. In Humberto On Sunday mother and daughtertell about this period, in which psychological problems played a major role.
Nikki is only 11 years old when she is first filmed. Now, six years later, theyoung woman looks back on this turbulent period with mixed feelings. “I havelong ignored the things that happened at home. I no longer live at home. WhenI saw the documentary, I was already out of the house and then I suddenlythought: wow. I’ve never looked at it that way at all. It’s put in a verydifferent perspective.”
Nikki’s mother is struggling with psychological problems
One of the scenes in Humberto on Sunday preview shows how Nikki wakes hermother. For example, the 11-year-old daughter makes a cup of coffee for Karin,makes breakfast and walks the dog. But after several attempts to get hermother out of bed, Nikki is unable to pull it off. “I see things now that Ididn’t see then,” Karin says about the scene.
Not only does Karin struggle with borderline, but also with depression. “Thatmoment, at that time, I was really deep. I was also convinced that I was not agood mother and that she would be better off somewhere else. That has beenquite a struggle, because I love her dearly too. I really wanted to beeverything, but I didn’t quite know how. (..) I was not living, I wassurviving.”
‘Nobody bothered to listen to my story’
Nikki is not the only one growing up in an unstable family. In theNetherlands, approximately 600,000 children grow up with parents who sufferfrom psychological problems or addictions. By making a film about thesituation of Nikki and Karin, Nolte wanted to take a look at the uniquerelationship between parent and child. “That bond can be incredibly beautiful,but it can also be damaging. I was fascinated to see what it’s like for achild when a parent can’t take care of you so well,” says the documentarymaker.
An alarming fact is that 65 percent of children who grow up in families withpsychological and/or addiction problems may struggle with similar problemslater in life. “In a lot of situations, there was no place to express myself,”says Nikki. “Adults looked down on me like that 11-year-old girl who knowsnothing about the world. But my upbringing was very different. No one botheredto listen to my story. And I think this is where a lot of things went wrong.”
Strong bond between Nikki and mother despite everything
Nikki, now 17, is doing well. “The film helped a lot with that. I was finallyable to fully understand where my own problems come from. That way I can workwell on it.” Despite everything, the bond between Nikki and her mother Karinis strong. “We have always been a team.” The beautiful words of Nikki do notleave Karin untouched. “I have a very low self-esteem,” says Karin, while sheis handed a handkerchief by Humberto. “It’s nice to see that she was able tosee through it.”