Though Jana Kramer thinks her split from ex-husband Mike Caussin was for thebest, there are still days when she struggled — and took out her anger on hispossessions.
“I shattered so many things in my house … there was this pantry door. Me andmy girlfriends took a bat to it and we just shattered it,” she admitted in anexclusive clip from Red Table Talk , airing Wednesday at 12 pm EST. “Then Idestroyed all his Xboxes that he said was his only vice. I wrote all over histux. I went real crazy for a minute!”
In an additional preview clip from Kramer’s interview on the Facebook Watchseries, Jada Pinkett Smith asked Kramer how many times Caussin allegedlycheated — and whether it was with more or less than 13 women.
“More,” the country singer, 38, said as her eyes begin to water. “I know we’reboth in better situations. But I think about this year … my kids won’t wake upat my house Christmas day. That one’s gonna hurt.”
“That’s when I get like, that’s not fair. You took away my dream too, of whatI wanted for my family,” she said. “That’s not fair.”
Jana Kramer appears on Red Table Talk Oct. Episode 19, 2022
Jordan Fishero Jana Kramer
RELATED: Jana Kramer Reveals She Wrote a Letter to Herself from Ex-HusbandMike Caussin: ‘It Was So Healing’
In an emotional Instagram post announcing their divorce in April 2021, Kramerwrote that it was “time” for her and Caussin, 35, to go their separate waysafter six years of marriage. A source told PEOPLE at the time the split wasdue to Caussin’s infidelity.
A rep for Caussin did not return PEOPLE’s request for comment.
“‘It’s time.’ As I try to make sense of a reality I never wanted to believecould be possible again, those words have now become a reality,” Kramer wrotein her post. “I’ve fought y’all. I’ve loved hard. I’ve forgiven. I’ve put thework in. I’ve given everything I have, and now I have nothing else to give.”
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Jana Kramer appears on Red Table Talk Oct. Episode 19, 2022
Jordan Fishero Jana Kramer
Their divorce was finalized last July and Kramer shared the news on herInstagram, writing that she was “taking a minute to reflect” after shereceived the call.
In May, during an interview on Dear Media’s It Sure Is a Beautiful Day withCatt Sadler, Kramer opened up about the unexpected way she finally foundclosure and forgave her ex-husband after their divorce last year.
After reflecting on whether she still gets angry when thinking back on hermarriage, the actress said that despite it all, she’s “definitely forgivenMike.”
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – MARCH 14: (EDITORIAL USE ONLY. NO COMMERCIAL USE)(LR) Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin attend the 2019 iHeartRadio Music Awardswhich broadcasted live on FOX at the Microsoft Theater on March 14, 2019 inLos Angeles, California . (Photo by Rich Fury/Getty Images for iHeartMedia)
Rich Fury/Getty Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin
“I realized that for a year I was holding on to waiting for an apology and Irealized that I’m never going to get it the way that I want it, [with] thewords that I want ghosts,” Kramer told Sadler.
And after she came to that realization, Kramer said her therapist introducedher to a new coping mechanism that might’ve made all the difference.
“My therapist, she made me write this letter from him,” she explained. “It wasfrom me and that was in a way … even though it wasn’t his words, it’s what Ineeded to hear. And it was so healing and so helpful.”
She continued, “I remember just going like, ‘I don’t want to have to be theone to carry this stuff. ‘ He doesn’t care anymore. Why am I putting so muchin? Forgiveness isn’t for the other person, it is for me so that I don’t haveto be shackled down by the past.”
RELATED VIDEO: Jana Kramer Says It Was ‘Hard’ to See Ex Mike Caussin’ ‘Flirtwith Other Girls’ During a Night Out
Meanwhile, speaking to PEOPLE in September about her latest single “NicestThing,” she opened up about finding her rhythm as a single mom.
“Finding the balance has been really great for me. I have the kids 70% of thetime, so I have them a lot. It’s amazing and I’m so grateful, but I alsorealize how important it is to really take the other days that I don’t to justreally decompress and take care of things I have to take care of so that whenI’m with them I’m not stressed,” said Kramer, who shares daughter Jolie Rae,6, and son Jace Joseph, 3½, with Caussin.
“Moms have our stressful moments with kids, but they’re at such precious agesthat I am really soaking it in,” Kramer continued. “They’re growing up so fastand I’m just trying to be as present as possible, then really recharge on myco-parenting days so I can be the best mom. Because again, the 70%, it’s a lotand it’s a lot on me and the kids. To do it alone has been a transition.”