Though Jana Kramer thinks her split from ex-husband Mike Caussin was for the best, there are still days when she struggled — and took out her anger on his possessions.
“I shattered so many things in my house … there was this pantry door. Me and my girlfriends took a bat to it and we just shattered it,” she admitted in an exclusive clip from Red Table Talk, airing Wednesday at 12 pm EST. “Then I destroyed all his Xboxes that he said was his only vice. I wrote all over his tux. I went real crazy for a minute!”
In an additional preview clip from Kramer’s interview on the Facebook Watch series, Jada Pinkett Smith asked Kramer how many times Caussin allegedly cheated — and whether it was with more or less than 13 women.
“More,” the country singer, 38, said as her eyes begin to water. “I know we’re both in better situations. But I think about this year … my kids won’t wake up at my house Christmas day. That one’s gonna hurt.”
“That’s when I get like, that’s not fair. You took away my dream too, of what I wanted for my family,” she said. “That’s not fair.”
Jordan Fishero Jana Kramer
RELATED: Jana Kramer Reveals She Wrote a Letter to Herself from Ex-Husband Mike Caussin: ‘It Was So Healing’
In an emotional Instagram post announcing their divorce in April 2021, Kramer wrote that it was “time” for her and Caussin, 35, to go their separate ways after six years of marriage. A source told PEOPLE at the time the split was due to Caussin’s infidelity.
A rep for Caussin did not return PEOPLE’s request for comment.
“‘It’s time.’ As I try to make sense of a reality I never wanted to believe could be possible again, those words have now become a reality,” Kramer wrote in her post. “I’ve fought y’all. I’ve loved hard. I’ve forgiven. I’ve put the work in. I’ve given everything I have, and now I have nothing else to give.”
Jordan Fishero Jana Kramer
Their divorce was finalized last July and Kramer shared the news on her Instagram, writing that she was “taking a minute to reflect” after she received the call.
In May, during an interview on Dear Media’s It Sure Is a Beautiful Day with Catt Sadler, Kramer opened up about the unexpected way she finally found closure and forgave her ex-husband after their divorce last year.
After reflecting on whether she still gets angry when thinking back on her marriage, the actress said that despite it all, she’s “definitely forgiven Mike.”
Rich Fury/Getty Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin
“I realized that for a year I was holding on to waiting for an apology and I realized that I’m never going to get it the way that I want it, [with] the words that I want ghosts,” Kramer told Sadler.
And after she came to that realization, Kramer said her therapist introduced her to a new coping mechanism that might’ve made all the difference.
“My therapist, she made me write this letter from him,” she explained. “It was from me and that was in a way … even though it wasn’t his words, it’s what I needed to hear. And it was so healing and so helpful.”
She continued, “I remember just going like, ‘I don’t want to have to be the one to carry this stuff. ‘ He doesn’t care anymore. Why am I putting so much in? Forgiveness isn’t for the other person, it is for me so that I don’t have to be shackled down by the past.”
RELATED VIDEO: Jana Kramer Says It Was ‘Hard’ to See Ex Mike Caussin’ ‘Flirt with Other Girls’ During a Night Out
Meanwhile, speaking to PEOPLE in September about her latest single “Nicest Thing,” she opened up about finding her rhythm as a single mom.
“Finding the balance has been really great for me. I have the kids 70% of the time, so I have them a lot. It’s amazing and I’m so grateful, but I also realize how important it is to really take the other days that I don’t to just really decompress and take care of things I have to take care of so that when I’m with them I’m not stressed,” said Kramer, who shares daughter Jolie Rae, 6, and son Jace Joseph, 3½, with Caussin.
“Moms have our stressful moments with kids, but they’re at such precious ages that I am really soaking it in,” Kramer continued. “They’re growing up so fast and I’m just trying to be as present as possible, then really recharge on my co-parenting days so I can be the best mom. Because again, the 70%, it’s a lot and it’s a lot on me and the kids. To do it alone has been a transition.”