Melissa Etheridge says son Beckett’s death ‘taught me that I cannot save anyone else’

Melissa Etheridge says the grief about her son Beckett’s death has been”endless.”

The “Come to My Window” singer opened up to The Daily Beast about Beckett,whom she shared with ex Julie Cypher (with sperm donated by David Crosby),succumbing to his opioid addiction in 2020 at the age of 21. She said herfamily is still recovering from his loss, and shared what his death has taughther.

The mom of four said of motherhood, “Even when my son left this earth, and thechoices he made, I would still not change a thing. To know that kind of love,the things he taught me about life…”

The greatest lesson has been, “He taught me that I cannot save anyone else,and I am not supposed to save anyone else,” she said. “The best thing I couldever do for him was stand in my own truth and my love of myself, take care ofmyself, and try to show him that. He never caught on to that part, but then ofcourse the drugs had him by then.”

Etheridge said Beckett was in a “downward spiral” into addiction beginning atage 17. He was training to be a pro snowboarder, reportedly with hopes tocompete in the X Games, when he had an accident. He was prescribed painkillersfor an ankle injury, which led to substance abuse. Etheridge said the injury”shattered his life” because “couldn’t do what he loved anymore.” It hurts hisself-confidence.

As a parent, Etheridge said she tried everything to help him as far astreatment programs and, sometimes, tough love.

“It was four years of a downward spiral, and I kept thinking, ‘We’ll keepputting him into programs,’ ‘You’ve got to learn this, get this,'” sherecalled. However, “Life was too hard for him, and when you have an easy outwith drugs — I can understand it. I always had a joy of life, but he neverreally did… Then it was four years of watching him slowly go down. I put himin programs. I cut him off. You do everything you can think of. You think,”There’s something I can do, I can save him. I can show him. I can punish himinto this. I can do something.’ Then, finally, towards the end, I realized, ‘Ican’t do anything else, I know I may get the call any day that he’s dead. It’sup to him. It’s his life. He has to figure something out. made thesechoices.'”

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Heartbreakingly, “By the time he died, I wasn’t surprised,” she admitted. “Iwas incredibly sad. I hadn’t heard from him in four days. They sent policeofficers to check on him, and then I was told, ‘He’s gone.'”

Melissa Etheridge (2nd L) poses with daughter Bailey (L), son Beckett(2nd R) and mother Elizabeth at a ceremony where the singer and songwriterreceived a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in Los Angeles September 27,2011. REUTERS/ Phil McCarten (UNITED STATES - Tags:ENTERTAINMENT)MelissaEtheridge (2nd L) poses with daughter Bailey (L), son Beckett (2nd R)and mother Elizabeth at a ceremony where the singer and songwriter received astar on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in Los Angeles September 27, 2011. REUTERS/Phil McCarten (UNITED STATES - Tags:ENTERTAINMENT)

Melissa Etheridge poses with daughter Bailey, son Beckett and mother Elizabethat a ceremony where the singer and songwriter received a star on the HollywoodWalk of Fame in Los Angeles September 27, 2011. (Photo: REUTERS/Phil McCarten)

She has second-guessed how she handled it all, admitting, “The guilt and shamewill eat you up. It was very, very stressful. It took a little while for ourwhole family to recover. We still are. We bring his memory in, we celebratehim. We celebrate how funny and joyful he was. He’s still with us, and we helpeach other not bring any kind of guilt and shame into our home.”

But the grievance is “endless,” she admitted. “I don’t imagine I will everstop thinking about him. I find myself constantly thinking about him. He helpsme now by knowing that I have to turn those thoughts into joy, that I can’tlet those thoughts bring me down. I truly have a deep belief we are in aphysical reality and the non-physical reality is right there with us and weare doing this together. I really feel him when thinking about him with love.That’s when he is closest with me, and he teaches me to be more loving in mythoughts also.”

The year Beckett died, the Grammy winner started the Etheridge Foundation tosupport research into new treatments for opioid use disorder.

Etheridge has been married to actress/writer/producer Linda Wallem since 2014.Her daughter Bailey Cypher is 25 and she has nearly 15-year-old twins, Johnnieand Miller, with ex-wife Tammy Lynn Michaels.